Blog: A Transgender Woman’s Open Letter To Our Partners And Mamma Bears


Follow Ellie On Twitter / @elliehopeauthor

Simply thank you for loving us, for not giving up on us. For inspiring others.

Laverne Cox said once that loving a transgender woman was a rebellious act.

As a transgender woman myself, it’s heartwarming to see your rebelliousness, your courage; your selfless and unconditional love.

I know that it has not been easy for you. I know that a lot of communities turn you away; I have confronted those transgender people myself. Those transgender people who fear you for being comfortable with your own sex and gender you were born with. Those who think there is nothing to gain in extending themselves to another person outside of their experiences. Those who dare call you scum without knowing anything about you, your mission or your selfless love for your trans partner, or the love you have for your transgender child.

I know it has not been easy for you to let our old selves go, and I know that it’s not easy for a straight woman to fall in love with another woman’s soul.

Yet, here you are. Loving, listening, supporting, Feeling proud.

Thank you for inspiring others, for doing more when everyone else is just talking. Thank you for the things that you taught me, the tips that you’ve given me, and for holding me in your loving arms every time you’ve heard me weeping unconsolably.

Thank you for comforting us, for confronting the bullies and the haters, those who want to inspect our chromosomes before letting us into a public bathroom. Those who think that our future is theirs to choose.

I did not choose to be trans, but you did have the choice. You had the opportunity to ignore me and walk out on me, and you didn’t.

– Ellie

Support Independent Media! Share this article with your friends, and thanks! Digg thisShare on StumbleUponShare on RedditBuffer this pageShare on FacebookShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

Journalist, psychologist, spokeswoman, photographer, human rights advocate, happy, proud, lipstick.

England, United Kingdom.


  1. Us mama bears are so lucky to have transgender children. They teach us that being true to yourself is “survival 101” on this earth. Their bravery brings out the best in us. They lead us to people and places we never would have known otherwise. Instinctively, we would never have dreams for our children that include struggle and controversy… But it’s in that struggle, that chrysalis, that something beautiful is being created… and it is a beautiful thing, and I’m so honored, so privileged, to have this beautiful child of God call me Mom.

  2. Thank you Ellie for your sweet and loving post. I believe transgender people have so much to teach each of us, parents or not. I always knew I would love my children unconditionally but never expected that my daughter could actual become my son. It is a journey I was unprepared for but one I am so glad my child has had the courage to take. Me, I’m just happy to be along for the ride. The change in my son as he transitioned into his true self has been a beautiful thing to witness. You are correct about it not always being easy, but I would much rather embark on a difficult journey with my children that not embark on one at all. Sincerely, Cheryl B. Evans (Author of I Promised Not to Tell: Raising a transgender child).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *